Be with people who find you attractive

As an "ageing homosexual" recently turned 60 I find myself  becoming more and more invisible in the youth obsessed English speaking cultures I know. Thankfully this is not the same in Latin and Asian countries or even in Europe generally.
This picture was taken by a 21 old female artist friend Morgan on a jaunt to Vicenza last summer.   After a number of recent scarring events when some of my close gay friends ignored me in the pursuit of the younger and prettier.

I couldn't contrast this more highly withe warm welcome I have received in recent catch ups with my school and university friends, all of them straight.  I am going to move towards kindness as the Sufi poet Rumi recommends and I will find people who find me attractive to be with, whatever their age, gender or orientation. 


The New Testament is a Suicide Note

One of the secondary students I taught yesterday had a look at my studio and asked- "are you religious?  " and then last night I had a dream.
I am looking at an old church,  I am outside and opposite is a door I am looking at.  I can see some type of electronic eye between the door and the door frame. Someone tells me that if I  go in, I will set off an explosive device and I might be killed or wounded. .

 I am not sure what to do,  I am happy to observe from the outside and I don't put pressure on myself to go in ..  in a moment of clarity I feel I know what is inside the church - there are suicide notes in there

Today reflecting  on the dream I  realise the New Testament is one long suicide note. I have many friends who are gay and committed Catholics and its difficult to admit I am not one of them

 It is a gruesome story about a father who conceives a son only to have him killed in the prime of his life . It is a horror story where everyone the Son  loves and he himself is complicit in a bizarre plot to have him killed. 

There is a deep belief in out society that young men should be sacrificed for the good of the tribe, race, religion or nation 

Three years ago I travelled through Morocco with a lovely couple -she was Irish he was Australian . Their only son had been killed serving in the Australian Army in Afghanistan - overcome by the sheer depth of their grief I could not offer any words of consolation.

I see how readily politicians offer up our sons -and now our daughters- to fight in overseas wars thousands of miles from our borders . Why do we allow them to do it ? Patriarchal myths from Christianity to ANZAC make us think its right and proper. As a father of two sons I know its obscene. Religions and artists who work for them glorify the shameful willingness of the patriarchy to sacrifice its own sons